Brooke said to Gary, “In our entire relationship, I’ve gone above and beyond for you … for us. I cook. I take up your shit off the floor. I’ve laid your clothes for you like you were a four-year old. I’ve supported you, your work or anything. I make the plans. I take care of everything. But I don’t feel you appreciate any of it. I don’t feel that you appreciate me. All I want from you is to show me that you care.” Gary retorted, “Why didn’t you just say that to me?” In tears, Brooke said, “Gary, I’ve tried.” Gary answered, “But never like that. You might have said things that may mean like that but I am not a mind reader.”
Above is a conversation of Brooke (Jennifer Aniston) and Gary (Vince Vaughn) in the movie “The Break-up.” This is a classic example of a poor communication or miscommunication which led to rejection, hurt, misunderstanding that eventually resulted in the falling-out between partners Brooke and Gary. This is a movie that solidly mirrors reality. Partners may have difficulty putting their feelings into words or the wife speaks but the husband avoids or does not listen. Communication is the essence of any relationship. However, communication is also a two-way process. You may talk as much as you want but you also need to listen well as much. “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak,” as Greek philosopher Epictetus perfectly puts it.
Human relationship is basically a balance of communication and compromise. And just like communication and compromise, relationship is all about giving and taking, loving and being loved in return.
But how do we make communication work in a relationship? The key here is to talk freely and listen excellently. Open up your feelings, thoughts, aspirations, hurts and complaints to your partner. And when your partner does the talking, you need to be the excellent listener by not condemning, attacking or lecturing the other. When it is your time to talk, your partner will likewise do the same thing for you. And after each one has heard all that has to be said, work out for a compromise.
Partners should likewise bear in mind that each one is entitled to his/her own feelings and opinions, that no two people are exactly the same, that each one is totally unique emotionally, physically and mentally. Respect for one another should guide the relationship. Once both partners accepted the individuality and uniqueness of one another will fear to communicate be eliminated; and only then will open communication ensue.
Also, take note that words can make or break your partner or any person. Would you rather discourage than uplift your better half? It is quite essential to think first before you speak. Take control of your anger and temper. Always bear in mind that words are gifts and should be used to inspire, encourage and motivate others. So to avoid having the same story as Brooke and Gary, as Dr. Laurence Peter suggests, “Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”
Ron Zvagelsky
http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/making-communication-work-for-your-relationship-83621.html
what have u found to make your relationship work better?
communication, having things in common or sex. what makes the biggest difference in your own relationship. what are you willing to look past to make it work?
You have to learn when to pick your battles and communication plays a big part in a relationship. Don’t fight over money and make a budget that you both can agree on.
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communication
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Let me be honest, all three of those things makes a better relationship, but sometimes even that doesn’t work. I have looked passed it all in my relationship. I love my man and I stand by him in everything, even when he messes up. The way I see it all men need variety, whether you are good or not, it is just a part of life. It is up to you to decide what you can deal with. Let me know if I can help you further.
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communication has made my relationship waaaay better but #1 is honesty.
we have one of those relationships that noone will ever understand so i wont evn try to explain bt being honest about hella ish helped us get past the b.s n start a true relationship.
sex is what started it n what made it fun
having things in common just ensured that we wouldnt get vored and run outta things to do n say*
its like..
water and oil when it comes to the past so we put it where it belongs in the past so we can have a future.. yeeeee BAY BiiDniZZ!
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Talk talk TALK.
If you truly love someone there is nothing that you need to "look past" to make it work. Communicating with each other is the key to working through everything.
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The best thing that ever happened to me and my BF was giving each other space. When we lived together, we felt stuffy and it was making us fight for every single little thing. Allowing your partner to have a life outside the relationship will only make them appreciate the time with you even more.
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Alot of times sex may will temporarily solve a problem but you have to be able to communicate well mainly and there is really no reason to be in a relationship with somebody if you have nothing in common that would just be a very dull and boring relationship! To be honest I know what I want in a relationship and I will only look passed the little things! I will never try to change a woman into somebody that she is not. Either your meant to be or your not that’s the only question you have to ask yourself.
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