I can imagine. Maybe time for a new job? This would give you a fresh start, new people, prospects etc.

"What if she is with someone else? (the thought rips my heart apart)"

You have to face up to it that this will happen sooner or later (if it isn’t already). It’s NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! She’s not your girlfriend anymore so WHY do you care? The answer is you don’t, ‘if you love someone, let them go. If they never come back it was never meant to be’ goes the saying and it’s true. Much of your post shows you are still hankering after her and until you sort that out you’ll never move on. Nobody’s saying you should forget her, just stop thinking about her all the time.

"Will I ever meet someone or will I end up alone?"

You’re 36 (still young), with your own job, able to string whole sentences together without any spelling mistakes, you’ve obviously quite bright, damn, this puts you in about the top 5% of males out there!

"At 36 will I ever meet someone to settle down with and have a family?"

You can chase after younger women (and might get lucky) or you can go for someone nearer your own age. Chances are that many women in their mid-thirties will already have kids, so this is the situation you’ll have to face up to. Get yourself on a reputable dating site and see what’s about.

Re. self confidence: It maybe that you need to try something REALLY dramatic to increase your self-confidence, perhaps some crazy extreme sport or something.

"Do something everyday that scares you" is a brilliant piece of advice and that "scare" can be anything from asking a good-looking woman for the time, speaking in public or bungy jumping!

References :
Been there, done that and so have all my friends.

When I read the job description for the Accounts Receivable Administrator position I found listed with *******, I noted how well your requirements match my skills, experience, education, and background.

While my resume provides an excellent overview of my strengths and achievments, I have also outlined a few of your specific requirements and my qualifications, formatted as Your requirement – My qualifications.
(use the information in paragraph 2 to make this list)
A real world example (mine) to get you started:
Working knowledge of Microsoft Office – Well experienced in Microsoft Office 2000-2007 using Word, Excel, Access, Outlook, PowerPoint, and OneNote to create, organize, and maintain all types of information, documents, and correspondence including multiple Access databases used in conjunction with in-house software I developed in Visual Basic 6.

Since my skills and expertise fit your requirements so closely, I believe a meeting would be mutually beneficial. I will contact you on ****** to follow up and see if we can arrange a time to meet. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
References :

Seriously though.. The best way to win is to buy a book, harvard business review publishes a really good one, and there is one called "When Yes Means No" though I don’t know who the author is anymore..

You need to take these people out of their element.. Once you are there and enjoyed there hospitality.. Dont make any committment.. Bide your time.. Everything in China is about relationships.. and relationships take time. Tok me three years before I had enough moxy and relationship power to accomplish my goals in China..

Understand this very simple concept: THERE ARE NO EXPERTS ON OR ABOUT CHINA AND HOW TO DO BUSINESS THERE.. Repeat it to yourself.. Apply it to what you are reading at this very moment.. What works in one province does not work in another..

Become a student of Chinese culture.. Learn Sun Tse Art of War, and understand the underlying currents of that book.. It is the foundation of all Chinese business..

Expect to lose alot of money before you make money. .

Ideally, once you have these relationship.. to win the negotiation.. Invite them outside of their hometown.. You will have to host them.. But if you get away from their local relations to a nutral area, you will have better luck with your team..

Be wary of the tag team approach.. The first team entertains you.. Get you shitfaced.. and stuffed.. Then when you think your ready to rest your gut on those wonderfuly hard matresses, the second team encroaches and begins the real negotiation.. Hahaha!

Learn some Chinese idioms.. And appear clever.. Listen more than you speak.. Dont go there being an american.. And whenever possible, let a Chinese person you trust deal with other Chinese during the negotiation.

A small gift is customary, it shows you know something about Chinese culture. It doesnt have to be expensive, I usually suggest something from the local area where you reside, something special from your town or area not easily found someplace else.. Once relationships are established and you go to China, gifts for the important players are mandatory.. Wine.. Expensive wiskey.. etc..
References :
http://z-visa.com Professional ChinaVisa Service
http://journeyeast.org Teach English in China

What have you got to be optimistic about…well you have a good job ( a plus in womens books) your own home ( another plus) and you are mature and ready for commitment ( a big plus ) She is 26 and hence immature, she probably reckons she can run around dating like as if she was 19 again or some such nonsense.

My only advice is that we have all been there but you have a head-start on most of us ( the pluses i mentioned ) When the going gets tough, the tough get going. All the best and dont let the bastar*ds get you down
References :
Im a real man`s man