Many people associate NLP with manipulation.And they are right !

NLP IS about manipulation.

NLP is about getting the results that you want from life without having to feel like you need to apologise for being successful.

There !

I’ve said it. I have finally come out and told the truth instead of pussyfooting around.

If you’re going to play any other game would you play to lose ? Hell no ! And why should you.

Do you want the athletes and sports teams that you support to win ? Probably…And that’s why you follow them and support them. Because their winning inspires you.

NLP is about getting what you want from life and doing it in a winning way, as opposed to a whining way.

Let’s be straight here. If you want to play the game of life in a half hearted way that’s fine. Just stop pretending that you “want to be successful”.

People who want success go for it.

Before we go any further let me define “manipulation“.

Manipulation is derived from the Latin word “manus” which means hand, fist or team. How I interpret this, is that Manipulation is taking a hand in creating teams or circumstances that increase your chances of being successful.

If you are doing something different than arranging your life to be successful there is medication and therapy available.

For those that are actively pursuing the good things in life for you, your family and those you care about…there is NLP

NLP courses.org

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Wellington New zealand is a great city to learn NLP. Besides being stunningly beautiful and the best city in the world ( on a good day ) it is also extremely well served with eateries restauarnts, cafes and places to just sit in the sun and watch life go by.

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I’ve made a quick video to give you a taster of what to expect when you do NLP training in Wellington with us. Don’t be alarmed by the steep hills with houses hanging onto their side for dear life. The views from the top wil take your breathe away.

Don’t mind the wind. ( You’ll miss it when you leave ).

Just relax knowing that you are in one of the friendliest and nicest cities in the world. You can walk from one end to the other in no time flat…

What a powerful and evocative word. Images of wickedness and unbridled lust. Fornication, even.

Jezebel you have got So much to answer for.

you gotta love it. You really do…

The way that your mind can conjure up all those states, emotions and reactions to mere groups of symbols and spaces.

So what else could YOU do with that sort of ability.

Imagine how useful this ability is for you to do useful things with your mind.

There is so much more to life than mere reaction…(Despite what governments say…)

What would you rather be doing with YOUR brain ?

Interpersonal communication skills are what you use when you want others to like you and to trust you. Because, as a human being you are wired to be sociable, interpersonal skills are very useful. So, what are the most useful interpersonal skills that you can develop?

They can all be summed up underneath the umbrella term of rapport.

Rapport is very simple and straightforward on the face of it. It is however, made up of lots of small actions that go to create the overall skill.

A good analogy would be learning to walk when you are small. You first have to learn how to stand up without your legs buckling underneath you. This happens because your muscles are not yet strong enough or well enough developed. You then must learn to balance on those legs without the need to support yourself. And then you have to learn how to move one of them forward, maintain your balance and then move the other. When you’ve been doing it for years it’s easy and because you are so small when you learned how to do it, you’ve forgotten how difficult it was.

 So, back to interpersonal communication skills and rapport.

Remember, your mind and your body are one system. Because roughly 90% of all communication and therefore relationship building is non-verbal, your body language is very important. I am not talking about anything sophisticated or slick here, just simple mirroring and matching. This is where you imitate the body position of the person you are with. It should not be confused with mimicking which is where you are taking the Mickey out of the other person.

To learn how to mirror someone best, get out there and look at people, in a restaurant or cafe perhaps, who are getting on really well. You will notice that they will be almost like twins or two peas in a pod. What do I mean by that.

 What I mean is that when one lifts their left hand slightly the other will follow suit and move their hand as well. This is an unconscious response. When one laughs or smiles, the other will probably do the same. They will be talking at a similar volume and at a similar speed using a similar tone.

The reason this occurs is because of something known as mirror neurons which were first discovered at the University of Palma, in Sicily, in 1991. The neurons were discovered in the brains of monkeys and later were found in the brains of every other primate, including humans. When a monkey makes a gesture  another monkey will make a similar gesture. This is probably the origin of the saying “Monkey see, monkey do”. Human beings are no different. We are primates too and we have these very neurons in an area of the brain called Broccas area. 

The reason that mirror neurons and mirroring are important is because they allow us to recognise other entities or beings who are similar to us.  Entities or beings that are similar to us do not generally present a life threatening danger. That is why I would recommend you not practice mirroring and matching tigers or wild hyenas. Their brains are wired differently. They will probably eat you. A graphic illustration and hopefully a useful one.

So, now you’ve spent some time observing other people and seeing how mirroring and matching occur, you may have noticed something. Not only are their gestures and their actions, the language they use, the tone and volume similar. There are other things too. If you observe closely you will see that their eyes are at roughly the same level. You will notice that their body gestures and their body position is virtually identical. It is as if one is looking in the mirror at the other. Hence the name mirroring.

So far, we have only looked at the physical side of creating rapport. Mirroring, body position, volume and tonality of speech but there is more.

Beyond the physical there is the psychological. The psychological aspect of rapport relates to you being interested in the other person and them being aware of that. By being aware that you are interested in them this will allow them to feel confident and likeable. This in turn begins to lead towards emotional rapport. Because we are social animals we need to feel liked and loved.

If you go back to the savannas of Africa thousands, or hundreds of thousands of years ago, to not be liked or Loved meant you were out there on your own. It was you against predators. The predators had teeth and claws. They were hungry and you were on their menu.

You had a stick, if you’re lucky.

 Hopefully you’re beginning to see that there are deep and significant sociological and physical reasons why we behave the way that we do today. We learned millennia ago that together we are stronger. We discovered that being liked and loved, not only feels good. It also meant we got fed and usually, lived to see the next sunrise.

All of the foregoing can be translated into a modern equivalent. Your interpersonal skills will determine how well you are loved, how well you are liked. How well you eat and live and whether or not you will in fact live to see tomorrow’s sunrise. There is nothing new under the sun and no surprises. I would strongly encourage you to learn, practice and home your interpersonal communication skills. One day they may, just may, save your life.

And even if they don’t save your life, they will definitely help you to enjoy it a lot more. 

I came across a video on YouTube today.

Sounds ordinary enough…?

Or is there more to this email ?

What’s the…underlying reason that caused me to sit down and write to you today…

Well, it’s like this…

For a long time I have avoided being political. ( mainly as a result of being well and truly stomped on by the system in the past  whenever I was saying stuff they didn’t like.) 

More details later.

( maybe…!)

Just so you know, one of my deepest beliefs and values is that we MUST learn to cooperate better if we are to survive as a species.

Please note the use of the word survive here. And NO this is not just some impassioned plea to save the whales or any other single species.

This goes much deeper.
It’s all about the deep psychological shifts that humankind needs to make to get to the next level.

We have a behaviour problem here on planet Earth.
And I hate to be the one to tell you but it’s also a choice problem.

As a species and as individuals, both you and me chose a behaviour that was damaging to our home. Our planet.
And for a while we chose to ignore that because we were told that government and the financial system has the answers.

And we believed them.

BUT the truth is…

Our current behaviour is not useful for the long term sustainability of life. 

Human life on planet earth is an option.

That’s all it is. An option.

You are an evolutionary choice…

That’s tough to consider but I believe it’s true nonetheless.

You are at a decision point in your life.

We all are.

Nature doesn’t care for your future here any more than it cared for the future of T Rex.

The difference between you and T Rex

is that you have a brain that’s capable of creating choice AND you are still here.

NOW …

at the moment we have systems in place that we use to run or manage our environment.

These systems are set up on the basis of competition, in just such a way, that there is inequality.

That inequality results in over 1 billion people living in poverty and starvation.

BUT the problem isn’t a lack of food to feed them with…

It goes deeper…

It’s all about beliefs and your psychology. The shift from a competition to a cooperation mindset.

And cooperation goes beyond mere sharing and management of resources.

Cooperation is and must become humanity’s belief system. A value system.

A way of being for all of humanity, regardless  of race, creed, financial status or any other BS idea you got taught about why other people are different to you.

Cooperation needs to be part of our conscious psychology as a species.

Think about the times when you are not happy…

Aren’t they almost always times when there is a conflict going on.

It is your responsibility to take control of your environment which starts with your internal environment.

Your beliefs about what is possible.

Control of your environment includes controlling what you think, feel and do.

Despite what you may have been told… you… are the only person who has control over your beliefs and thoughts.

Those who tell you that you have no choice… USUALLY HAVE A VESTED INTEREST in keeping you right where you are !.

(“That’s your place.You better get used to it”.  “Hey we were always poor, dumb, downtrodden”. “Your side of the family was/ is radee radee radee”,)
All of the above are just BELIEFS.

Other peoples beliefs… about what is right for you. And you do not have to accept their beliefs.
I mean it positively flies in the face of what’s written in the Constitution.

You have choice about what you will believe. What you can believe.

Yeah, I know it may sound difficult . But that’s just another belief.

Another idea that YOU have about…

taking control of your own thoughts. Taking control of your life and destiny.

Taking control of your environment

But if Tony Robbins can do it then so can you!

If I can do it, so can you ! 

Doesn’t mean you have to be a total master at it straight away.

It just means that you’re willing to believe it’s posssible to change what you believe.

If you are one of the few who don’t think it’s possible to change what you believe, from whatever you currently hold in your mind to something else, please do not read any further.

Instead consider…

what causes you to have such a limiting view.

Who or what told you to  believe that you are powerless over your own mind and where THAT belief came from for them.

You can always hit the back button / unsubscribe.

I will be upset, knowing that yet another human being just gave up on possibility, themself and the whole future of the planet.

The rest of us will ask ourselves the question  “Is there something more we can do to assist ?”

If you truly believe you are incapable of changing that one tiny belief don’t even bother to get out of bed tomorrow.

Why waste energy ?

Speaking of which, for those of you who are still here with me. ..What does get you out of bed ?

What is the motivator for you that shifts you from that warmth and comfort to whatever you do when you get up.?

Once you are aware of that then you have tapped into the most powerful motivation on the planet.

So, spend some time really getting in touch with WHY you do what you do.

I have considered for some time how do we transition from where we are now to where we need to be as a species.

As part of our ecosystem.

We are after all, at a very basic level,  just another item in the intricate biological soup that makes up life on this planet.

You of course are also infinite possibility in evolutionary motion.

You may be curious about what this all has to do with communication.

You can also be curious about How you can create the levels of cooperation needed to achieve survival.

Why did I just mentioned survival again?

Did you ever consider that perhaps, getting cooperation is the whole reason that you communicate in the first place ?

I mean why else did we go to all that troube of creating and refining language if not to get better cooperation with others ?

We are a social species and social implies cooperation and to do that we have to communicate clearly.

Think about it ! If you don’t want or need something you don’t speak or wave or do anything else to communicate with others.

Even a smile can fulfill the need to comfort or reassure another person (or yourself.)

So while you’re thinking about what moves you from your bed every day I’d also invite you to really consider what results you want to get from communicating.

Consider also if your communication is getting you the results that you really really want. The environment you want. Internally and externally.

And if the answer is YES then
Watch…

If on the other hand the answer is NO then
Watch…

And by the time you have completed watching this you will know why I want you to be motivated. Why you need to be motivated. And most important of all. Why you need to believe that change is possible….

The tools for creating the necessary upgrades in awareness are about to come out of the lab here…

Sign up for our newsletter to discover more about how you can be part of the change.

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